Author: playhaus2015

Famous Noise Band Steals One of My Stories

In 2007, well-known harsh noise group Macronympha released a 7″ single on the Hospital Productions record label, called “Sex and Death.” There are two tracks, “Pussy Is My Soul” and “The Doom Pussy (Is Coming).” Both titles were taken from my story “Jaws of the Doom Pussy,” which was published in Malefact magazine, issue #4, back in 1997. The record includes an insert that has selections from the story cut out and pasted back together.

Just about everything in that paragraph is so obscure it requires a footnote, so allow me to explain.

I discovered the existence of this record last night while listening to a private press LP by one of my favorite “noise” artists, Runzelstirn and Gurglestock. While the demented piano playing and raucous cries spilled from the speakers, I decided to check the band’s discography on Discogs.com. Each time I added an R&G release to my wantlist, a line of “recommendations” appeared at the bottom of the screen. One of these was the Macronympha single, bearing intriguingly disturbing cover art. I clicked in to the release page for a closer look; there I saw the track listing. How could someone else come up with a line like “The Doom Pussy is Coming”? It was too close to my own work to be a coincidence.

Under “More Images, every part of the record is documented: front and back covers, record label, and two inserts. The final two pictures show an insert filled with solid blocks of words.On closer inspection, I recognized the text instantly. One of the musicians had collaged elements of the story from Malefact, creating a variation on the original. In fact, all the images on the jacket art could serve as illustrations for the narrative.

Macronympha has a long discography, having been active since the early 1990s, and is well-known in the harsh noise scene. This particular recording features original members Joe Roemer and Rodger Stella joined by Hospital Productions label boss Dominick Fernow . Fernow himself is a huge presence in the noise underworld, recording power electronics as Prurient and black metal as Vatican Shadow. I once saw Prurient on a bill with Wolf Eyes and Whitehouse. It was a great night for intense music and bleeding ears.

Given what I know of Fernow’s aesthetic interests (and those of Macronympha’s other members, as well), it makes sense the Doom Pussy story would have resonated with them, and that they would have seen Malefact. One of the best fanzines ever to come out of the Washington, DC, area, it mostly featured extreme, transgressive art with psychosexual, satanic, and psychedelic themes, often beautifully drawn by its editor, Tom Crites. Crites was also a huge fan of extreme music, including noise and black metal, and I can imagine he made contacts in those scenes. After I discovered Malefact, I wrote a short piece about it for The Washington City Paper (“Bureau of Smut,” 2/14/97); that’s when I met Tom and his domestic and publishing partner Sandy Smiroldo. Tom graciously allowed me to publish some of his graphics in my own fanzine, Mole. (Digression: I notice I spelled “Cthulhu” incorrectly in the article, and the WCP editors didn’t correct it!)

In The Headpress Guide to the Counterculture (2004, Manchester, UK), David Kerekes said this about Malefact 3 & 4: “One of the more pleasing art showcases, Malefact is a kind of Raw for the terminally apocalyptic. Running down the list of contributors ought to give clear indication of the type of subject matter on offer here: Miguel Angel Martin, Mike Diana, Nick Bougas, Trevor Brown, Sverre Kristensen, to name but a few. And if it still isn’t clear, how about serial killers on the job, huge ejaculating schlongs, and torture? Some of it is in comic strip, some of it big and bulbous full-page splashes. The artists in No. 4 have an even greater obsession with cartoon shit cakes.” (For the record, there is no reference to defecation in “Jaws of the Doom Pussy.”)

Somewhere along the line, I told  Tom and Sandy about the series of texts I had been working on featuring the Doom Pussy, a kind of warrior goddess at war with mankind; her weapons of choice were earthquakes triggered by bombs from a helicopter. They agreed the words would fit in well with the images in the zine. The stories are characterized by extreme sexuality, violence, magical practice, a performative writing style, and experimental techniques and structures. Easily the most intense writing I’ve produced, these texts have so far only seen light of day three times, all in long-defunct DC-based publications: two in a literary journal called Spoonfed, and once in Malefact. At the moment, I’m editing an anthology of all 19 Doom Pussy stories, potentially to be published later this year. It’s 275 pages of dense, eye-watering writing.

It seems appropriate that Macronympha would attach my words to their music and imagery. I don’t have a problem with it at all. It’s really a badge of honor. I just wish they had given me credit and sent me a copy of the record.

Two poems published in Otoliths

The latest issue of the online poetry journal Otoliths–issue 41, the Southern Autumn Issue–includes two of my poems, “Contract Expiry” and “A Blind Dog Leading the Blind.” You can read them on this page.

Otoliths comes out of Australia, so that’s the reference to a southern autumn. It contains some great experimental work, including lots of visual poetry, which I’ve been finding really inspiring. So many great contributors–Carla Bertola, Richard Kostelanetz, Steve Dalachinsky, John Bennett, to name a few of the bigger names I recognize–I’m really proud to be a part of this issue.

Poems accepted by Full of Crow poetry journal

Recently had five poems accepted by Full of Crow, an online poetry journal. This April 2016 issue marks the journal’s return to publishing after a year long hiatus, so I’m happy to be a part of it. Plus, I’m thrilled to have been named a “featured poet.” My poems can be found on this page in the journal. They are “Coming to Ground at an Oblique Angle,” “The Scales VS. the Serpent,” “Dwarfed by the Sun,” “The Layoff” (both free and haiku versions), and “Time Release Discovery of Need.”

5 poems published in Zombie Logic Review

Zombie Logic Review just published five of my poems: “Wardrobe Malfunction on a Foggy Bottom Stage,” “Covenant of the Golden Idol,” “Customer Service,” “Justice in the City,” and “Willow Oak Daydream (Acorn Porn)”. You can read them here.

In its masthead, the journal stakes its territory as “dadaist, surrealist, Outsider, and Outlaw poetry.” Once I read that, I felt like I’d found my literary tribe in this world of academically inclined journals. Nice to have that sense of belonging rewarded.

This online journal thing works fast. I just sent the editor the poems this morning, and he posted them in the afternoon. The encouragement is welcome at the moment, as I’ve been sending out quite a bit of material lately.

Rejections are pouring in

I recently dug out this book-length collection of poems for revision, and decided I needed to send some of them out to poetry journals. It would be great to just put out another book, but it seems like it would be more prestigious if at least some of the work had found favor with an outside editor.

Finding a journal that looks like it would be sympathetic with my work is hard. Ultimately, I just have to take the plunge and see what happens. There are a bunch of batches out there now. Recently, I started to receive the all-too-familiar form rejection letters. First I got one from Mudlark, then Rappahannock Review. In-Flight Literary Magazine and Slipstream soon followed. Now I have 15 poems come home to roost that need to go out again. Back to the grindstone!

More new eBooks now available: Dishwasher series, Toothpick Fairy

For those interested in checking out some of my books, eBooks are now available for my novels The Toothpick Fairy, and the entire Dishwasher series: Dishwasher on Uranus, Dishwasher on Mars, and Dishwasher on Venus. You can find these available for instant download on the Lulu website here. Eventually, these titles should propagate to multiple eBook formats and platforms, including Kindle, Nook, and Apple’s iBook. So if you prefer those formats/devices, then keep a look out for them. The list price is $3.99. I hope that’s not too high, but these other vendors take a huge cut, and I don’t seem to be able to set a lower price on Lulu, where my royalty rate is higher. In any case, this price is at least one third to one fourth the cost of the print copies.

I learned a few things about eBooks while I was formatting my titles. It surprised me that so little formatting is allowed: only three heading styles and a few fonts. Also, the text is not justified, an arrangement that forms a nice rectangular column in a print publication and which is much easier to read. Since I generally put much effort into the design and font selection for my print titles, it’s a little sad that the eBooks can’t reflect that. So if you want books with fonts and design, then hard copies is the way to go!

Cthulhu Limericks eBook available

Cthulhu Limericks

Anyone who’s actually living in the 21st century can now purchase and read an eBook version of Cthulhu Limericks, available now through Lulu. This is the full text of the print version, with the nifty cover art I painted myself. Even the title is spelled correctly!

This is the first eBook I’ve created myself, and it was a real chore to get the formatting right. Totally ridiculous how much trouble I had getting the paragraphs to indent. It finally looks decent, although I’m a little surprised at how little design is possible with an eBook. When I design one of my print publications, I make an effort to select a great looking font that suits the theme of the book, and carefully design the chapter headings, layout, and so forth. An eBook is far simpler, just being raw text in Times New Roman, with three layers of headings in Ariel. I guess anyone who reads eBooks already knows this. Being somewhat of a 20th century guy, I’ve never read an eBook. I still buy LPs, after all. Yes, that means vinyl records. I’m listening to one now.

The eBook is priced at $3.99. If that seems like too much, please let me know. However, keep in mind that when it appears on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other sites, they take a huge share of that amount. This is still one third the cost of the print book!

 

Book ads appear in Asimov’s and Analog magazines

As part of a crazy scheme to attract a few readers and/or buyers, I took out a classified ad in Analog and Asimov’s science fiction magazines. They offer a pretty good deal for a three month run which includes placement in both print magazines and their e-book versions.

The ad contains a fairly simple message: CTHULHU LIMERICKS now available on Amazon, trade paperback by Jeff Bagato. 70+ rhymed poems exhume the LOL of Cthulhu, based on Lovecraft’s mythos. Check out novels by the same author, including The Toothpick Fairy and Dishwasher on Uranus.

The best part is that there are only a few other classified ads–as I suspected there would be. I believe this increases the impact the ad will have, on the theory it won’t have to compete amid a clutter of other messages on the page. Of course, whether anyone will look at that back page is unknown.

Advertising my self-published books is an experiment. It will be interesting to see if there anyone buys any books as a result.

The Curse of Cthulhu

Now the secret can be told. I tried to suppress it, but my hand has been forced. The single surviving erroneous copy of Cthulhu Limericks has appeared for sale on Amazon–the one that has “Cthulhu” misspelled in the title.

I’ll admit writing a collection of limericks based on H.P. Lovecraft’s weird tales was something of a blatant attempt to create a book that would actually sell for a change. After reading just about everything the master wrote, I knocked out about 70 humorous rhymes that featured lines like “the LOL of Cthulhu.”

The first published version of the book ended in resounding failure: after I’d bought 30 copies, I realized that the cover contained a really stupid typo: “Cthulu” Limericks. The name “Cthulhu” was spelled correctly throughout the text, but my underpaid proofreader (me) blew it when reviewing the cover art. After a short period of self-loathing depression, I deleted the book from Lulu and even managed to persuade Amazon to remove it from their marketplace. I thought I had killed the deformed little monster when I destroyed and recycled the copies I had on hand.

That experience taught me to proof the cover art as frequently as the contents before publishing, but now it seems I’ll have to live with the mistake.

Call it the curse of Cthulhu, I suppose this is what one deserves for playing with another man’s toys.

You see, before I noticed the offending typo, I sent a review copy to Bizarre magazine in the UK–at the time my favorite periodical, now ceased publication. Then I sent them a corrected copy. Neither of them garnered a review. I had hoped they’d notice the new book, since they had given my tour guide, Mondo DC, a positive review, probably because I’d written a short feature about DC’s unusual attractions for them previously.

I figured both books had ended up in the garbage. But apparently some unscrupulous staffer–or garbage picker–held on to the erroneous copy and decided to cash it in. The seller actually has two copies on offer–a “used” one and a “new” one. But I know–and he knows–that there’s only one. He’s asking $56.77 for the new copy, and $45.42 for the used one. Maybe he thinks the boneheaded author will buy it to maintain his devious deception about the glaring titular typo.

2Good luck with that, mate. The fully corrected, official book, Cthulhu Limericks, also available on Amazon for the low low price of $15.49, and the bargain basement price of $12.39 from Lulu, isn’t exactly making me rich and famous. In fact, I’m not sure any copies have sold.

The LOL of Cthulhu indeed. Looks like that ineffable, hideous Old One is having the last laugh in sunny R’lyeh.

Anyone who wants to gamble on my future fame might want to grab up this rare, bungled book–one of a kind!–in the hopes that one day it will be worth millions.

Until then, as someone who has advocated for the value of disinformation as a publicity strategy, I guess I can’t really complain that this uncorrected abomination has surfaced to haunt me.

Manuscripts found in a box

I had the happy surprise last week of finding a bunch of my old manuscripts stored in a box. How old? Well, most of them are dot matrix prints, some even on that tractor feed paper. Among the files of old poems were several things I’d totally forgotten I’d written: a long poem, two incomplete novel manuscripts, and three short stories. Some of this material could work as new books: a poetry collection and a short story collection.

The long poem centers on my character Jean Savage, who features in my novel, Savage Night, and several stories published in that same collection. Jean is sort of an anti-establishment figure who uses magic, sex, and violence in her mission of self discovery and rebellion. I also wrote a few poems with her in them, four of which made it into my collection Spells of Coming Day. Looking through the sheaf of old poems in the box, I realized there were more Jean Savage poems than I remembered. Ideally, there are enough for a short book. The long poem, Jean Savage Magic, seems pretty good on first read, so I’m hopeful the others will hold up as well.

The discoveries set me off in search of more complete poetry print outs, and I eventually located the notebooks where I had put everything. Then I searched for the backup discs, so I wouldn’t have to retype all this stuff. I couldn’t find any CDR backups that included these items, so I started looking at old floppy discs. I still have a pile of 3.5″ and 5″ floppies, and an auxiliary reader for the smaller ones.

One of the 3.5″ discs had a bunch of old poetry files, so I’ve been able to copy the short Jean Savage poems. But the long one continues to elude me. Maybe it’s on one of the other discs. The search continues.

The stories are from a series I did around the theme of “sex in space,” which Ducky Doolittle was supposed to publish in the 1990’s. One of the stories made it into my collection, Savage Night and Other Stories, but the remaining ones didn’t make it because they were hidden away.

I’ve been trying to keep my manuscripts organized as I write and publish them, particularly as I’ve been going back and revising stuff for publication. Looks like I still have a ways to go before everything is in order.